This week, we were dealing with sex as a merely physical experience. One of the challenges that we meet as we aim to embody our body more fully and gracefully is: “body shame”. Now as much as we have become more and more aware of the nefarious effects of body shame on our well-being as women, (and yet still clearly not over it!) it still remains largely unaddressed when it comes to men.
In the Incubator this week, we took on body shame head-on, we gave our bodies a voice, that part of our body that we always try to hide, then we flipped the script. So here is one of the many creations that came out of that, and it allows us to enter into some of the shame that men carry in their bodies too.
Body Shame Gets In the Way!
“I forget the actual wording for this assignment, but I recall vaguely being asked to think of a body part that gave us revolt, and were then asked to seduce said part. This is my best attempt at exactly that.
No matter where I look, there you are.
Even when I search the skies for a soaring,
free birdy, I feel you weighing my front
– reminding me that I am anchored
to the ground. Anchored.
When I close my eyes, you are there.
My shirt fabric dragging against you
to breathe in…
and loosening when I breathe out.
Even naked in the shower,
I must suck you in a bit to locate
the soap I just dropped.
Are you kidding me?
You are the reason
I don’t go into fitting rooms.
The reason I only own dark colours.
If not for you, I could celebrate my body.
I’d have the symmetries
of those handsome blokes
in the magazines.
If not for you, I could wear nice suits.
If not for you, I could smile
when I looked into the mirror.
I curse you!
I am proud to keep you unshaven.
You are the home of the ‘happy trail’.
You are the source of my brunt,
and the reason why I don’t
blow away in the wind.
You force my posture straight,
and my shoulders wide.
You are proof of well made
homemade meals worthy
of seconds… and dessert.
You do not cry out “Look at me!”,
instead, are comfortable to imply
“Here is a man that is no longer
on the hunt. Here is a man
that is nest worthy.
His life is no longer all about him,
and CAN be swayed by a 7-layer dip!”.
Never mind the athletic thighs
and bulbous calves.
Forget the wide wing bones,
and unnecessarily developed
scapular or forearm definition.
They are mere distractions!
The middle is soft.
It is a comfortable landing spot
that only the most quietly
confident can possess.
For he no longer feels the urgency
to flash a 6 pack as a Bat Signal
to where the party’s at.
He knows the party WORTH
attending is held at other venues…
and he’s quite
capable of lighting them all up….
right after his nap.
(Printed with Permission)
By Kaliwahele Nen Thohahkwʌht
Author of “Sex Up Your Life: The Mind-Blowing Path to True Intimacy, Healing, and Hope”
Media Kit: cocreativesex.com
“Connect to Yourself”